Fitness Reports

The following sentences were gleaned from Royal Navy and Marine officer fitness reports:

• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
• I would not breed with this officer.
• This officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.
• When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
• He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
• He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
• Technically sound, but socially impossible.
• This office reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
• When he joined my ship, this officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
• This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
• Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
• She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
• He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
• This officer should go far - and the sooner the better.
• In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
• This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.