English Writing Assignment:
My Friend
by Ryan Grosman

Life is very short
        I sat on my bed of my third floor apartment, just sitting there pondering and reminiscing. I lived alone- no wife, no children, no family. I was hunched over with my head between my trembling knees, whimpering and crying. It was like I was ten years old again and I was red-eyed from crying over the cuts and scrapes that had I inflicted upon myself after having fallen off my bike. However, this time, it was no mere scrape that could be cured by the application of a little disinfectant and a strategically placed band-aid. In an instant, his life was over. Marcus, my best and longest friend, was only thirty-five and was married, with two young children. From what I had heard, he died immediately after impact with the other car, so he didn't suffer. When someone hears that the victim went quickly and painlessly, their immediate response is: "It's better that way" or "At least they didn't suffer." My response was that it would have been more ideal if he hadn't been placed in that perilous situation in the first place. Marcus had been returning home from work during rush hour traffic when it happened. The other driver was hospitalized and eventually released after suffering a concussion, a broken arm and several broken ribs. With all of the witnesses providing their own unique perspectives of this catastrophe, it was quite difficult to place the blame for the accident on either driver. In any case, Marcus' existence on earth was cut short. It's a really scary topic to think about. What if tomorrow is my last day to live, or the day after that? From this incident, I learned that life is very precious and must be spent wisely.

and there's no time
        There was no opportunity for me to talk with Marcus for one last time. There was no time for our crumbled friendship to repair itself. Our relationship had been deteriorating ever since we went into the advertising business together- investing in and running our own small, local company in the Bronx area. Marcus' sudden accident left no time for us to put our differences aside with a friendly slap on the back. There was no time for us to visit the local pub, a place we had spent time together regularly ever since we were first permitted to drink. This stopped a few weeks ago when our feud began. There was no time to swing back a couple of cool frosty beers, watch whatever sporting event was on TV in the bar at the time, and to basically have a good time together. Simply, there was no time to put behind whatever silly (and now unimportant) issues fueled our latest rivalry. In the midst of our stubbornness, each of us was waiting for the other to be the first to give in and to provide the appropriate apology. Now that I think about it, the unwillingness for one of us to break the chain of silence and communicate with the other, is childish and primary. The fact that two fully grown and mature men could not consciously apologize to the other, goes beyond stubbornness and borders on truculence. There is simply no time for truculence in today's society. In the present situation, time ran out for Marcus (and for me) before we were able to patch up our friendship.

for fussing and fighting
        Marcus and I have had countless fights in the past; it is a commonly occurring downside that accompanies a friendship. It is almost unhealthy not to fight. Keeping feelings bottled up inside only builds anger and frustration, which is collected for dispersion at a later time. Believe me when I say I know this from experience. After all, I have had first-hand experience with the destructiveness caused by storing frustrations. None of our quarrels was as serious and detrimental as the one that unfolded late last month. We were both on the verge of nervous breakdowns and tensions were high. Our current client numbers were at an all time low, leading to reduced monthly incomes. Money was tight and we had to restrict our budget and expenditures. Now, looking back, I almost blame myself for what happened. Marcus was handling our company's most important client at the time. I began to put overwhelming amounts of pressure on him to pull this deal through because he and I both knew a lot was riding on that one client. What was I thinking? Stepping back and letting him do his job was a thought that never occurred to me. I was born a meddler and I will die one as well- I see that now. This was where everything fell apart. Marcus was unable to seal the deal and we lost the client. I blindly blamed him for being incompetent and told him that his uselessness would lead to the end of our company. He, in return, blamed me for putting insurmountable pressure on him to make the deal, which directly contributed to his failure. Numerous comments were made on impulse which originated purely from repressed frustrations. All of our fussing and fighting ultimately resulted in the corrosion of our friendship, much like the effect that acid has when poured over metal. All grudges with others should be put aside, or you might end up suffering the consequences of having lost the opportunity to make peace. Fighting is an endless battle. It is as simple as that.

my friend
        Usually, it was only a matter of time before any of the differences between the two of us were smoothed out and the issue was resolved. However, this altercation was not something that could be forgotten about or worked out overnight. Friends fight, friends make up, friends fight again. It is a way of life for most people. Marcus is...was my friend. Marcus was my best friend, to the fullest extent of the word. We went through life together; helping each other along the way. Through family troubles and other personal affairs, he was there and I, in turn, was there for him. I have a vivid memory of when we were sixteen and we stole into a movie at the local theater. We were young and adventurous with no consideration for the future. Marcus claimed he had a foolproof plan that would allow us into the theater without buying a ticket. His plan worked to perfection and we were able to watch the movie for free. The movie was of no consequence; it was the cheap thrill obtained from having defied the law. There are countless times where I wish I could turn back the clock and return to that carefree lifestyle once again. The fact of the matter is that I had trusted Marcus then, so why wouldn't I have trusted him again. I realize that I won't ever be able to forgive myself for pressuring him the way I did. I betrayed my friend. I did not trust my friend.

        "Life is very short
        and there's no time
        for fussing and fighting
        my friend."

        ~ We Can Work It Out- The Beatles